Help finding a post.

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Help finding a post.

Postby RevSears on Thu Mar 28, 2013 7:41 pm

I know i posted this giant rantish comment on ROC here on this forum, but using the search feature i can't find it. Anyone else remember it? I even remember someone responding with "tell us how you really feel." A blog about Nerd topics from a Christian perspective.
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Re: Help finding a post.

Postby RevSears on Thu Mar 28, 2013 7:55 pm


found it: WOW did i hate this movie even more so then that i did when i recently rewatched. There is much anger in this young padawan!

I'd like to start off with something positive. This movie was safer to take kids to than TF 1 or 2 . That really bothered me about those movies! If I was a parent, my kids would be seeing those films in till they really were 13.

A lot of people have praised how fun it is. I don't think you have to make a “dumb” movie to make a “fun” one. Here are my complaints:

Logic fails/ plot holes
“Weaponizing” the nanites with nuclear power would if anything at all destroy their programing.
Taking an Elevator from a collapsing, exploding underwater ice station, through ice that's crumbling and exploding is not going to work!
An army scientist is not normally going to Turn evil in 3.4 seconds because “nanites are cool”
Dr. Mindbender is said to still be alive, but is nowhere in the film aside from the flashback. Where is he? (They could fix this in a sequel)
How did the Joes get to build a gigantic underground base, NEAR THE PYRMAIDS with no one noticing?
How did they move millions of galleons of water there? Above the main part of their training facility?
How come in the lower parts of the pit they left bar underground walls exposed? How the heck are the holding this base together anyways? One earthquake would destroy them.
How did so few cobra's sneak in, with almost zero stealth and do so much damage?
They Left Hawk alive just so he could push the alarm?
When Hawk was down there was no clear chain of command, who was in charge?
So Baroness goes from Bad butt who misses her brother to loving Duke again and helping hunt down her brother? Quick snap there isn't it?
If CC had all the control devices, wasn't he really in charge? But yet he took orders from Destro, in till he fixed his burnt face. Destro suddenly was docile. Who is really in charge? The movie never made it clear.
Where did the cobra logo come from on the sub at the end?
If you wanted to damage why use war-heads like that? Briefcase dirty bombs, a stealth Mach 6 jet (clearly Mach 6 is 6 times faster than Mach 5 in this movie) or just the dang rotor less helicopter they were flying every could have dropped them easier.
Why would you trust your top gear to new provisional recruits?
Isn't it lame how the regular soldiers had code names? (Ripcord and Duke, but not Rex, go figure) So who has code-names and who doesn't?
How Did MARS create a base in the arctic with no one noticing? Did the good guys not have satellites to pick up fishy activity? Where their no scientists up there?
If it's the “rise of cobra” how come they didn't rise at all? They were “cobra” for two seconds.
Why did Destro give in to it so easy?
The invisible Camo doesn't make sense to use on such thin and flimsy fabric if they have things like sigma suits, submarines and stealth jets.
The Invisible Camo had zero uses in the plot.
Baroness knew write where to throw stuff to reveal scarlet
Are we to believe the only interaction that se and ss had were as children? But they still recognized each other as adults? Stormshadow ran away as a child from training and yet still turned into a master assassin? Se, and apparently we are supposed to, believes a kid killed the ninja master so close to all the other students?
Btw, a kid named himself Snake-Eyes?
Why Did Baroness need a husband to earn her name? Why use the name DeCobray? Is that a little silly? (DDP fixed this btw that's not her real last name ) He just served to bring in a cool scene, and show how evil some of the villains were.
Why would a rich Baron have such an elusive and obviously untrustworthy wife?
No security cameras or alerts picked up or noticed of the brake into the pit? Yet that have holographic technology?
No ground back up was needed ever to support the alpha team?
If you had outfits that could make you invisible, and you needed to sneak up an assassin, wouldn't those be helpful? Yet there not in the paris scene ? Oh wait maybe it's because they have the Joe logo all over them?
What unit is Duke in that he gets to keep the facial hair? What purpose did it serve other than to differentiate him from classic duke?
Is everyone in the unit capable of piloting every craft they have on expert level?
Why do the soldiers like keeping their helmets off? That makes ZERO sense.
With all the High tech gear, HD, scarlet, or duke and rip ,when not in sigma suits, don't get HUD displays?
So a lot of people including covergirl were killed at the pit. Barely any emotion ?
Did CC have the materials to control Destro around, saving them just for the right time?
You can test for emotions, pheromones anyone? Neurochemical responses? Scarlet isn't apparently as smart as she thinks

Destro's face mask look like still images and copy and paste methods to make him talk.
The water level's cgi is on par with early ps 1 graphics, and I'm not even talking cut scenes.

In the Se vs. SS final battle as the camera roles around and briefly cuts SS goes from having short gloves to long gauntlets for no reason.
I'm not sure what is Se is wearing when we see the white bordered Arashakagne patch on his right shoulder. Is it or is it not on the Paris Pursuit jacket?

Why would there be left over startrek tng movie/late ds9 error customs in the movie?
If Se is wearing some sort of armor, why is it molded to look like muscles? I remember a shot of him in the trench coat at base where he didn't appear to have the armor on. The original images with the mouth showing were him in cloth not rubber!
Why on earth would a top secret unit fill their uniforms with their own logo?
CC's Final mask served no purpose and did not look good.

Too many flash backs, some of them did seem there just to help Miller convey emotion. It felt like more of the story happened in the past than now.
Most of the characters were VERY flat. Hawk and Duke seem to be the worst. Very one -dimensional. Hawk barks orders, Duke tries hard wee!

Differences from the source material:
I can't list em all but are some that REALLY bothered me.
HD appears to be the field commander for Joe alpha team. He was such a minor character this role could have been filled by Stalker.
“CC” actually says “Call me Commander” and leaves off the cobra.
CC actually has zero charisma, unlike comic cc. He didn't build any army, he didn't convince others to donate to his cause, he just used someone elses invention to control a few key people. It makes most of the villains have the potential to not really be evil. It also means the good guys might be killing people who are under mind control and otherwise would not be evil.
Not only was the film international it seemed to make every effort to stay away from America aside from a British U.S. President?
It's also a logic flaw that the world's best would all be put into a pool rather than reserved for their own countries.
Se is now a ninja first before being a solider. Was that really necessary? How is he that Bad A if his training ended as a child?
They jumbled so many elements around that it really bothered me. Why did Dr. Mindbender look like Dr. Venom? Why did “Doctor” (cc) look like Mindbender? Why did Scarlet have extra brains? But Covergirl seem to be just what she was supposed to hate being thought of as? A pretty face?
Why was the Ripcord/Scarlet flirtation necessary? If they hadn't had the unneeded Baroness/ Duke relationship duke could have tried but in the end she went with Se. Now that would have been a nice Nod to fans and less convoluted.
Baroness is good? That would take a lot to undo, they really ruined the character.

I'm sure we will never know how many of these sticking points are Hasbro caused. They love HD, and they have wanted to move Joe away from soldiers more and more. So maybe they are to blame for a lot of what I hate.

This movie however did not “rape my childhood.” it was just a bad movie I still love Joe, primarily the figures. Some of which from the movie are actually really good! Hopefully they will listen to some of our complaints and please even more of us the next time around.

Imo, this movie was okay for kids, it had moments that reminded me why I liked Joe, but this wasn't a good Joe movie, or even a good movie.

1 1/2 stars out of 5.

I'm starting to feel like the old trolls that bothered me when I was so enthusiastic about the new sculpt era. A blog about Nerd topics from a Christian perspective.
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Re: Help finding a post.

Postby Matthew on Tue Apr 02, 2013 9:49 am

I enjoyed it at the time, but even though I own it, I really can't imagine ever watching it again. Chad said he rewatched it Saturday and said it was worse than he remembered.
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Re: Help finding a post.

Postby chad_ghost on Mon Apr 15, 2013 9:47 am

I really need to go back and reply to some of your thoughts.

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